Written by John Davis Frain

Nail Gun

N

Till Death Do Us Part

Patience. My greatest asset. He’d know if he’d paid attention.

I grab the nail gun. Same one I bought him for our anniversary three years B.D. – Before Denise, the wench who installed our curtains. And then installed herself into our bedroom.

I test the nail gun in our kitchen. Sorry, his kitchen. Says some court document. The nail gun kicks me back against our fridge. Oh, right, his fridge.

Oh, he changed the locks. But he forgot about the broken basement window. So like him.

Thursday afternoon. He’ll be at the work another hour. I hide under our bed. There I go again. His bed. I’ll wait here quietly. Because remember – patience.

I waited one-hundred-twenty-one days for the temporary restraining order to expire. Later, I’ll give Frain his name back. Tonight, I re-gift him the nail gun. This time? He gets it right between the eyes.

        *        *        *

Feels good to be back. Surprisingly good after the nail gun incident. Those things’ll leave a mark. But hey, it’s Monday. And as Elise mentioned over the weekend, Monday can be a killer (even without a nail gun). This starts the second half of the A to Z challenge. If you want to start from the beginning – who wouldn’t! – here’s a good place.

Thanks for stopping by. Enjoy your week.

33 thoughts on “Nail Gun”

  1. Messy but this time I fear Frain earned his prize. Monday can be brutal. But Tuesday involves yet more creativity. Can an otter aid in your death? I can hardly wait to find out.

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    1. Otter woulda been tough. Alas, I feel pretty good about O (as opposed to M … ugh!), so I don’t think I’ll rise to the Otter challenge. I’ll rise to the otter one instead. (sorry, that was lame, it just showed up as I was typing. Couldn’t help it.)

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    1. You mean fix the broken basement window? Or get a longer restraining order? Or maybe hire someone other than Denise to install the drapes in the first place! So many options, I’m sure I’ll choose the wrong one.

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  4. She obviously bought him/you a good quality nail gun, to nail him (ha!) right through the box spring and the mattress! Good on her. He deserved it. I mean, you. Yeah, I HOPE it left a mark!
    Huh. I get bloodthirsty in the last half of the alphabet, I guess!

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    1. Oh, interesting, you had her shooting the nail gun straight through the box and mattress. This is clearly an example (lesson!) of the author knowing information he didn’t communicate to the reader. She waited till I was snoring (God, I don’t miss that, she said under the roar of the snore) and then rose from under the bed.

      I had to edit that out to fit since it’s flash, but maybe I shouldn’t have!

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    1. It took you till N to start wondering that? I’m happy to hear that report. But you’re not gonna get any better feeling about me after O, I’m afraid. I plan to mend my ways in May … assuming I survive till then.

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  8. I am pretty terrified of nail guns, I have to say. Awful way to go.

    Phillip | N is for Naked Don’t be alarmed – or disappointed – there is no nudity in today’s post.

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  10. Liking this one. Since you said earlier there are some difficult letters coming up (ah yes been there a few times for the likes of X and Z and have had to resort to some ghastly poetry) may I suggest “underwear” for U. I feel this would let lose your creative juices:D
    L is for Luck

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  11. This one actually made me shudder. Death by nail gun … well, at least it’s fast.

    It seems that I’ve been saying ‘ouch’ a lot this month while reading your posts 😉

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    1. Haha! A trained ostrich woulda been a nice trick, but Onion worked out for me. I’d liked onion from the start because I wanted to get something in about crying. Took me FOREVER to finally coax it into a story, but eventually it got there. Thanks for dropping in!

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