A to Z Challenge: P

PHLEBOTOMIST

 

Couple guys came to Jerry the first time, wasn’t even his idea. Turned out to be his idea ofP a good payday though, a guy making only $12.87 an hour most days.

So four months later when Winston Rockhurst IV walked into Jerry’s clinic and submitted to his paternity test, Jerry recognized a solid prospect when he saw him. He met with Tammy Lynn Johnson, Winston’s alleged one-time lover, to strike a deal.

Tammy Lynn jumped on the idea like a dog on a bone. Unfortunately for Jerry, so did her father, Pinellas County Sheriff James Johnson. ###

 

Oh, Jerry went from drawing blood to drawing a six-year sentence. All in a six-sentence story. Crime doesn’t pay, but at least he lived to tell about it. Thanks for stopping by to enjoy this six-sentence story courtesy of Ernest Hemingway who paved the way with his six-word story. (For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.) Today’s entry was brought to you by Pepsi, the choice of a new generation. And by Preparation H, because when you gotta go, you gotta go. And by Pfizer, the little blue pill with big results.

Come on back tomorrow for – uh oh! – the letter Q.

22 thoughts on “A to Z Challenge: P

  1. I like the change in voice you’ve made here, with the sentence fragments and colloquialisms letting us get to know Jerry in so few sentences! Well done.

    Good luck with Q! Quick-change artist (back to the circus maybe)? Quality control officer? Quilter? Quartermaster? Quarryman? I can’t wait to see where you go from here.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Funny and incredibly clever, but, man, I hope the shark doesn’t read your blog or we’re in danger of some awfully weird word prompts in our flash fiction contests. Maybe by the time you get to V, this dude will be a vampire. Just a thought. Although not thinking too well today. Day job and allergies.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Frighteningly, she did swim by earlier when someone must’ve warned her that AGENT was appearing as the A word. Thank goodness I didn’t kill the agent! And don’t worry, you’re not gonna see a Queen even get busted for jaywalking tomorrow. Uh-uh, ain’t gonna happen. No way. Not a ch-ch-ch … wait a minute, what if the Queen was crossing the street to join the chicken on the other side and stepped in the path of a bus? I better scratch out something about a Quilter really fast here.

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  3. At least he didn’t die 😉 I like the ending. I had to look up phlebotomist, though. I thought it had something to do with phlebitis, but uh, it doesn’t. It made more sense when I read your story for the second time.
    Q for quarterback?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, Doree, what fascinating people you must hang out with that you sit around talking about phlebotomists! But I agree about things rearing their head and then all of a sudden they’re popping up everywhere. Or maybe we just notice them since we just talked about them. Hm.

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  4. Ha! Now there was a twist for me since I immediately thought there would be a vampire in this somewhere. After all, what better “day” job for a blood sucker? Or would that be like having an alcoholic running a bar? Anyway, good job again, John. 🙂

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    1. Ha! Nice. That’d be fun to list all the worst people that could possibly be in any profession. An arsonist firefighter would keep herself busy. Claustrophobic astronauts are probably rare. Phlebotomist vampire? Why not!

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    1. Ooooooh, but now I wish I had thought of Professor — I could’ve killed my brother before the semester ended! Then I could really have found out if he ever reads the blog! Squandered opportunity. That’s what I get for lack of planning.

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    1. Omigosh, don’t even bring up X. I hadn’t even thought that far ahead in the alphabet. Shiver me timbers, I haven’t even thought about aarrrggghhh yet. Well, I guess I have since I keep typing arrgghh, but my chance to be a Pirate came and went with the Phlebotomist!

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  5. Ha, this was awesome. I have horrible veins. When my kidneys crashed the poor little nurses would cry when they had to start new IVs or phlebotomists had to draw blood because it would send my veins crawling away. They collapse, explode, wriggle away. I looked like someone had beaten me with a baseball bat because I had terrible bruises everywhere.

    Anyway, great story with a superb ending.

    I think there’s a blood bank in Bend, Oregon, probably wrong about that. Somewhere up there, the staff dresses as vampires, which is kind of funny.

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