The blustery attorney rolls his eyes. “My client is incapable of perpetrating such a crime. He’s only pleading guilty to save the victim’s family from going through a trial. I’d like you to recognize that in the sentencing, Your Honor.”

The judge leans in. “His fingerprints are on the murder weapon.”

“Circumstantial,” says the blowhard.

“His shoe print is on the victim’s shirt.”

“He’s guilty of a fashion crime with those shoes.”

“He left his DNA at the crime scene.”

“Convict him of littering, no more.”

“The court hereby accepts the guilty plea.”

“The sentence, Your Honor?”

“Life.”

“Actually, that’s a sentence fragment,” the attorney squawks. “Is that a reduced sentence?”

“Sorry, counselor. The life sentence is for your client. I have a run on sentence for you my bailiff takes you out to the woodshed you learn how he uses exclamation points.”