SHOPLIFTER — Bernie, ready to move up in the world, planned one final shoplifting adventure before attempting his first B&E. Decided to kill two birds with one stone, taking the till from Barnegat Books on East Eleventh, and purloining the latest Donna Everhart bestseller at the same time. He helped himself to a hardcover at […]
REALTOR — Now 64, Carla was refurbished twice to keep her curb appeal and it kept the condo commissions coming. She didn’t appreciate meeting at eight-thirty in the evening, but the Conroy place hit eighty-five days on the market and she had a ninety-day contract. The updated realtor opened the door to 32-year-old Kevin, who could […]
QUARTERBACK The plan was simple: his team could still win, but by fewer than six-and-a-half points, the betting line at the sports book in Vegas. So when they were up 23-20 and about to march into the end zone from the 2-yard line, Frank knew it was time to call an audible. He’d take a beating […]
PHLEBOTOMIST Couple guys came to Jerry the first time, wasn’t even his idea. Turned out to be his idea of a good payday though, a guy making only $12.87 an hour most days. So four months later when Winston Rockhurst IV walked into Jerry’s clinic and submitted to his paternity test, Jerry recognized a […]
OMBUDSMAN Dwight had never heard of Larry Sullivan until their first meeting. The ombudsman had gotten a call from a reader and wanted to know about Dwight’s sources for a few stories, including the series that earned Dwight the Pulitzer nomination. You didn’t have to be a good investigative reporter – and Dwight was a […]
NURSE When the light flashed outside Room 8, Suzanne and Mary played a desperate game of Rock, Scissors, Paper. Losing, Suzanne begged, “Two out of three” only to watch Mary wave and stroll the opposite direction. Suzanne inched toward the room, thinking they never taught a course at nursing school for dealing with a man […]
Mystery Shopper From auto parts stores to the local zoo, I’d diligently worked every assignment imaginable. Until the day I showed up at Blue Heron Park thirty minutes before a hit man so I could evaluate his skills. After a while a woman walked right up to where I was sitting and said, “You […]
Lawyer v. Lion Tamer “First time I’ve represented a lion tamer,” Dal Peccataglio said, “but I think we can make a good case for temporary insanity.” “Temporary –” Louie roared, “I tame lions for a living; you think a sane person would do this?” “You’re hurting your own case, Louis, we’re gonna call you Louis […]
KNITTER The family gathered on the front porch, their niece laughing at the stories Aunt Pearl spun, pleading for one more before bed, giggling the words out: “Tell the one where you guys first met.” Pearl remembered the day twenty blissful years ago when she walked into the fabric store and spotted Kitty, the resident knitter. […]
JUGGLER The Lion Tamer had been with the Bearded Lady since Birmingham, six cities ago. Rolling into Laredo, he heard the familiar howling from her tent and rushed in to find her breathlessly staring into her compact, rubbing rouge into a facial scar. You can cover a scar with makeup, but you can’t cover your […]
JD Frain 