Written by John Davis Frain

Jump Rope

jump rope

Class Reunion

Was a long time ago, I admit. Maybe some people don’t hold grudges way I do. But he’s the one who promised. Never mind that it was fifth grade.

Birdie, birdie, in the sky

Why’d ya do that in my eye?

Does he remember? ‘Course he does. Jumping rope when the bell rang. All the kids turned and ran. Somehow they forgot us. Just Frain and I on the playground. I let him kiss me. Because he made his promise.

Birdie, birdie, in the sky

Gee, I’m glad that cows don’t fly.

I’ve reminded him every year since graduation. Now he’s trying to forget me. I saw the notice in the paper. He’s to marry Lisa Shitface.

Birdie, birdie, in the sky

Guess whose turn it is to die?

I waited in the back seat of his Jeep while he was in Lisa’s apartment. Three a.m. when he emerged. Naughty, naughty Frain. Hope he didn’t give her my kiss. He put the keys in the ignition as I slid our jump rope around his neck. He stiffened – one last time, and for me, Lisa.

Birdie, birdie, in the car

Sorry, this might leave a scar.

I left our jump rope in his Jeep. I won’t be needing it.

J

Anybody remember singing Birdie while you skipped rope? Well, the first two verses anyway. I still miss Lisa from fifth grade, but she’d have nothing to do with me even after the rope burns mostly faded. Okay, they’re under the tattoo, but same thing.

Alas, join us again tomorrow (after Frain revives) when he gets introduced to a Katana. And if you’re just joining us, feel free to start with the air conditioner in Death by Defenestration.

21 thoughts on “Jump Rope”

  2. So you are attracted to homocidal women? Even in 5th grade? That’s most unfortunate. Good thing you revive so easily:)

    Can’t wait to see who puts the katana to use.

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  4. Well, considering your nickname for Lisa, I’m not surprised you ended up dead.

    I had to look up katana. See? Your blog is educational in more ways than one =)

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    1. I’d actually never heard it myself, but a website told me it was one of the most popular back in the day, so I went with it. Well, with some minor modifications to the final verses, of course.

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    1. My dad boxed in high school, but by the time I came along somebody got smart and decided young guys didn’t need to get pounded in the head so often. Didn’t seem to help me, unfortunately.

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