Deadly Vows
Snub Nose missed his only shot at Frain outside the rehearsal dinner on Thursday.
Missed a second chance pre-ceremony, Saturday in the park.
Wanted to fire his thirty-eight in church when the minister asked if anyone objected to the marriage, but his fear of collateral damage – shooting the minister – stopped him from the delicious irony.
Frain’s future father-in-law told Snub Nose the reception was his last chance. “I can still get it annulled for 24 hours. Do it tonight or I send Jimmie the Fist your way.”
Snub Nose declined to mention that Jimmie the Fist was his alias. Changed his name based on the weapon he used to do the job. The complicated life of a hitman.
Handguns weren’t allowed at the reception. So The Butcher figured he could get Frain to choke on some meat, kill him with the Heimlich. But when Frain helped cut the cake, the assassin helped propel the ice sculpture … right into Frain’s temple.
“If I can’t do it in the church, I’ll do it in the temple,” The Iceman said. Frain died on the spot.
Before the investigation began, the murder weapon melted. His wife’s heart did too.
* * *
Lookie there, my wife loves me after all. Well, when I’m dead and gone.
Okay, “I” was tough. (You probably noticed!) Deadline is minutes away and I’m still editing. This is why the back half of the alphabet scares me to … death? Oh geez, there I go again. Okay, come on back tomorrow for murder by…
- Jack-in-the-Box
- Jalapenos
- Jeep
- Jump Rope
- Junkyard Dog
Wednesday’s entry is kinda creepy. I think you’ll enjoy it. If you want to see where this all started (and get a better story for your effort!), check out Death by Defenestration.
JD Frain 
This looks better for the wife. The in laws though. You got yourself a double I Death- ice sculpture and in law.
J is tough. Jack ‘O Latern has possibilities- Frain as the headless horseman?
LikeLike
True with the double I, but my murder weapon has to correspond with the letter. Because it wasn’t challenging enough already, right? I’m such a dolt sometimes.
I have been called brainless, but I’m not sure about headless. On Sunday, a guy walked up to me and told me I wasn’t a Christian and I’m a cheater. So headless is virtually a compliment in relative terms.!
LikeLike
Man, this hits (har!) close to home since my daughter is getting married in a few weeks. Fortunately for all of us, we really like the man she’s chosen! No ice to the head for him.
(Not in the church, but in the temple – groan. No wonder you died on the spot!)
LikeLike
Haha! I gotta confess — I loved that line when I chanced upon it.
Congrats to your daughter! I kinda like my son-in-law as well, but I don’t like to let him know it!
LikeLike
I laughed several times during this one. Excellent!
Death by jalapenos. I can certainly understand that one. But if it’s creepy, EM had a good idea in Jack-o-lantern.
LikeLike
For me, creepy works like this: You take something likable and you turn it sinister. So, Stephen King’s clown in IT, for example. That dude is creepy! A jack-o-lantern could work the same way. It can be a friendly pumpkin that turns all sinister when you carve it and remove its head. Alas, I’m veering in a different direction…
LikeLike
If it’s not the wife it’s the in-laws! Frain is getting a raw deal out of this (these?) marriages!
LikeLike
Fortunately for him, it’s all fiction!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, you kind of had to reach for that one. Turned out ok, though. We got the point! 😉
Calen~
Impromptu Promptlings
A to Z Challenge Letter H
LikeLike
I struggled mightily! Some of ’em spill out; some of ’em require desperate editing.
LikeLike
Ice is the perfect weapon when the evidence melts away. Good job with this one! Death by jalapeno sounds painful …
LikeLike
That would be painful. Unless, of course, your jalapenos were part of a giant plate of chicken nachos, in which case I might willingly go for those final moments of gluttinous glory!
LikeLiked by 1 person
There ya go!
LikeLike
Jack-in-the-boxes can scare you to death. That music, that pop! Oh, it makes me shudder. And ice is the perfect weapon, melting away to cover the crime.
I is for Illuminati
LikeLike
You’re spot on, Tamara. Jack-in-the-Boxes are inherently scary. And imagine if it was Stephen King’s clown from it that came popping outta that box. Ooooh, double shudder!
LikeLike
If it’s not the wife, it’s the father-in-law. Can’t get a break. Got to love a cheesy line on the part of an assassin too.
LikeLike
I am a cheese fanatic, I cannot deny it.
LikeLike
Jalapeños PLEASE!!!
Operation Awesome
LikeLike
Look at you, digging out a schwa to crown your “n.” Well done. Jalapenos. Ha! I just tried to type it to see if it was automatic. Nope! How’d you do that, Ms. Clever? I can’t even perform the procedure and it’s my blog!
Jalapenos. Nope, I’m 0-for-2!
LikeLike
Wow! Bonus points for the murder weapon melting.
LikeLike
Makes it kinda tough to get fingerprints, I suppose.
LikeLike
I thought the murder weapon was perfect. If I were the wife, I might just move to South America or something…
Emily | My Life In Ecuador | Iguanas at our bedroom window
LikeLike
AAARRRGGG! Be back in the morning to try again 🙂
LikeLike
Please try this: Replace every ( with and you should be all set (assuming that this posts the way I expect it to).
(a href=”https://johndavisfrain.com/”)John Davis Frain(/a)
(a href=”https://johndavisfrain.com/2017/04/11/ice-sculpture/”)Ice Sculpture(/a)
LikeLike
Well, we are almost there. Replace the ( with a less than symbol and ) with a greater than symbol in my comment above.
LikeLike
You are keen on complicated mariages, aren’t you?
—–
Eva – Mail Adventures
LikeLike
Lol I love the names changing depending on what weapon he uses! He would have a lot of different names if he did all the murders on your blog this month! 😀
Here’s my “I” post 🙂 http://nataliewestgate.com/2017/04/impatient-secret-diary-of-a-serial-killer
LikeLike
Excellent point! That’d be too many aliases to keep up with!
LikeLike