Written by John Davis Frain

Frying pan

frying pan
(c) 2017 Murphy Frain. All rights reserved.

Crime for Breakfast

Frain had been called Motormouth for so long, friends simply called him Motor by theF time he married Janet.

He never shut up. Talked in his sleep. Talked in the shower. Talked when Janet was already talking.

At breakfast, Janet asked, “How do you want your eggs?”

A one-word answer would suffice. Scrambled. Poached, maybe. An omelet?

Instead, he covered the pros and cons of each method, starting with softboiled. Before he got to sunny side up, Janet whacked him across the forehead with her cast-iron frying pan.

Breakfast, and life, was over easy.

“Cracked this case quick,” the hardboiled detective said when he caught Janet enjoying her juice.

    *     *      *

This one might be harder to recover from. But if Wile E Coyote can do it, then so can I. Bring on the Saturday G. What do you suppose the weapon of choice will be?

  • Glock
  • Gloves
  • Grapes
  • Guitar
  • Gum

Come on back to find out! This is all part of the AtoZ Blogging Challenge. If you want to start at the beginning, see how someone used an air conditioner as a murder weapon to end my time on earth.

42 thoughts on “Frying pan”

  1. Sympathy for the wife. It was either you or her. Clearly, she was being talked to death.

    I never guess what you might choose to next end your life. I can only tell you that I, myself, have killed many softly with my guitar. So that can be done. Gum is also intriguing as it can be used as a delivery system for many toxic agents- poisons, bombs, intestinal parasites. I think I am enjoying reading about your death far too much.

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    1. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. So whatever kills you and you come back from must be making me invincible. I’m gonna have a Superman complex when May rolls around.

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    1. I just can’t imagine there are any cons when it comes to an omelet! I guess he still won’t be having one, too bad.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Probably because the men can’t handle all that complex thinking that comes from the mouths of women. Or maybe that’s just me?

      Hey, tried to visit your website. Is it still in the design lab?

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        1. I was able to get there, but my first attempt at a comment got squashed. Who knows what’s going on with technology, right? Finally seems to be working right though. Have a great week, Heather the Wonderful!

          Liked by 1 person

      1. He is officially Lord Drollery of Wits End Cottage. 😀 Though my Elvish friends (who know bloomin’ well he’s a dwarf because of his beard) call him Thorandorian (has something to do with and eagle but I forget the exact details. 😉 )

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  8. Death by frying pan … and at breakfast too. Someone woke on the proverbial wrong side of the bed! I’ve heard of grumpy starts to the day, but … ouch!

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    1. There’s a right side of the bed? I knew it, I knew it, I knew there had to be. Maybe I need a different bed, cuz I just checked and mine’s labeled “Wrong side” and “Wrong side.”

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  9. The appropriate response to “how do you want your eggs” is “cooked”. You deserved this death =)

    For tomorrow’s G, I vote for goose, as in your goose is cooked.

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    1. You’re way too kind, Jane. (Stay that way!) I’m feeling better after the frying pan death, but my prospects still aren’t good for the rest of the month. May will arrive eventually.

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  15. I’m with Janet on this one. When I crawl out of bed my early-riser husband immediately wants to start chatting about plans for the day, and doesn’t realize that I’m just grunting monosyllables because I CAN’T TALK YET. Or listen. Or think. He then gets concerned and asks if I’m all right or if I need anything. Like I can even figure that out! Sorry, Frain, but you deserved this one.

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