Written by John Davis Frain

Drill

Murder Through the Molar

Reading time: 1 minute

The office is closed. I don’t work Sundays, but I have one patient. A Mr. Frain.D

He’s behind in his payments for a root canal. Also, he caught me fondling a patient. Him, when the local wore off early. He threatened to expose me like an x-ray.

I met him this afternoon to pay his bribe. Except I hit him with a stun gun instead. This one won’t wear off early. Now we have a different arrangement.

I pull him like a tooth from my trunk. Drag him through my office back door. Muzak greets us. Does it never shut off!

dentistIt’s 1 a.m. when I drop him in the dental chair. Perfect timing – I’d scheduled him for 11:45. I grip the drill like a Maestro with his baton. Wave it above my head and begin my personal symphony across Frain’s nerves. Root canal? I’m drilling the fucking Panama Canal. The pain awakens him just in time for the torture to kill him.

Guessin’ he learned his lesson: No messin’ with the Leader of the Plaque.

“Okay, Frain,” I scream. “Spit!”

Nothin’. No follow-up appointment necessary.

 

It’s the A to Z Blogging Challenge. Can Frain recover? Of course he can. Like Wile E. Coyote, he must revive so we can read his next murder scene tomorrow. Every day brings a new weapon to polish him off. Will Thursday be…

  • Easter Bunny
  • Eggnog
  • Electric Chair
  • Ethylene Glycol
  • Eveready batteries

Come on back to find out!

44 thoughts on “Drill”

  2. That photo is downright alarming!

    “The Leader of the Plaque” – groan.

    Yesterday I checked out an audio book from the library called Murder by Eggnog, so that’s my guess for tomorrow. Altho Easter Bunny has possibilities…………..

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    1. I’m trying to decide if you’re serious — Murder by Eggnog?! Omigosh.

      I knew Leader of the Plaque was a horrible groaner. I took it out and put it back in a dozen times. Woulda never made it in a flash entry at the reef. Too expensive when you only get 100 words.

      I’m still working on E. Sent my son out to capture a photograph that I can write to. We’ll see…

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  3. Love your theme. I’ll be back periodically. Last year my A-Z challenge was ways to kill, too! However I didn’t use flash fiction as the vehicle. Very impressive. And I love the Wile E. Coyote aspect. Clever!

    My series last year appeared on one of my other blogs, http://www.sharonarthurmoore.blogspot.com if you want to check it out.

    I’m here visiting from this year’s challenge on using personality quirks to develop characters.

    Angelica French
    A-ZPersonalityQuirksforWriters

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  5. Having just had 3 fillings this week – and one to go next week, this post does nothing for my nerves. Poor Frain, having a rough time of it in this one, even the local anesthetic seems to be against him! Easter Bunny for me tomorrow 🙂

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    1. Oooh, that is some rough timing, Iain. If it’s any consolation, this particular dentist that the story was modeled after practices (isn’t “practice” a strange word — like you’d think they’d finish practicing before they start working on patients, but whatever) in California. You should be safe. (Yeah, right! Mwahahahaha)

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Ah…yeah..right..um… yuck? That picture just ain’t right. I hope the Easter Bunny is kinder to you. You’re going to turn out to be one sordid zombie once this is all over.

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    1. Well, thank you, Danielle. I bet you’re unique too, and I’m gonna go find out. I’ve tried a couple of failed attempts with the Easter Bunny. Delivering poisoned eggs? That’d take a sinister rabbit. Suffocating me with that cottontail? That’d take a well-trained rabbit. Nothing’s working so far, and my son did not return with a photo of a badass rabbit. So …

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    1. Hmmmm … now you’ve got me thinking of some future letters, Lisa. My wife gets in on the act when F rolls along, but that doesn’t make it more horrible necessarily. There are still some available letters, so now I’m gonna have to rise to your challenge. But you’re right — it’s tough get more horrible than sitting in a dentist’s chair and hearing the whirrrrrrrr of that hideous drill!

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    1. Just schedule a Thursday afternoon appointment with some Caterpillar earth-moving equipment and then your dentist appointment won’t feel so painful anymore. But what do I know? My dentist kills me.

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  13. Leader of the plaque – clever. It reminds me of my sisters and I singing while washing dishes.
    I chose Easter Bunny or EverReady batteries, but any will be entertaining.

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    1. That’s funny. In my house growing up, we had dish weeks, so every kid had to wash the dishes for their week. Five kids, so essentially once a month you had to do your time in the kitchen. I learned to adore paper plates.

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  17. Gaaahhh! I have a THING about dental work – when I saw the title of this post, I almost didn’t open it up. Then I did, and it was just aw bad as I expected, which means, I guess, that it was good. As you intended. But seriously, GAAAHHHH!

    (gasp, gasp)

    Leader of the Plaque, though, made me laugh.

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    1. I know what you mean. I was scarring (not a typo, I mean scarring, one R worse than scaring) myself with each sentence I wrote. And editing was more painful than usual too! GAAAHHH squared.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I love eggnog, so that would be an easy way for someone to abolish me off the earth. But I love Mt. Dew too, and it’s much easier to hide ethylene glycol inside a Mt. Dew than inside eggnog. I mean, not that I’ve ever experimented with such things, I’m passing along what a friend told me. Former friend, but still.

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