VALET
Jimmy the Valet had one thought about Mondays: Ugh!
Last night, he went to park his first car of the evening, and ran the Tesla over the curb and into a fire hydrant. Realizing he had no time to lose, he sped off to Dent Wizard without looking and drove over a pedestrian. Jimmy understood better than most that you win some and you lose some, felt sorry for the old man, but threw him in the trunk – with the keys!
While trying to figure out how to explain all this to his boss, he got a text from the manager who was looking for Jimmy back at the curb: “YOU’RE FIRED!!!”
Jimmy knew when it was time to run, so he stuck his thumb out to hitchhike out of town and the first car driving by picked him up: Patrolman Ziggy Meyers.
The moral of today’s six-sentence story: Your Mondays are a walk in the park, so quit complaining! Also, Jimmy’s manager is not an Elmore Leonard fan because one of Leonard’s 10 rules of writing is you’re only allowed three exclamation points in a 100,000 word novel and Jimmy’s manager used his entire allotment in a two-word text.
My A to Z Challenge is on six-sentence stories, inspired by Hemingway who crafted the first six-word story (For sale: Baby shoes, never worn.) Y’all had some fantastic V suggestions, but this story just kinda wrote itself while I struggled with so many others. It reminded me of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.
Alas, I have to use WRITER for W so hold your suggestions till X. But wait, if I kill myself off in W, does that mean I won’t have to write X,Y and Z? Hmm, very tempting…
See, this is why I don’t like Mondays. The girl the Boomtown Rats song was based on went a bit extreme and makes your Valet look nice. But still. Good one.
So, don’t kill the writer. Remember the old adage, “Don’t annoy the writer. He may put you in a story and kill you.”
We are almost done. My poor, neglected manuscript. I just know agents are twiddling their thumbs waiting for me. Or not. That’s probably somewhat true for you though.
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Oh, the first part is definitely true — my poor, neglected ms. But the second part — agents twiddling their thumbs waiting for me? Ha! I wish that were the case. Even singular agent would be nice, but I think their lives are going merrily along whether I ever finish or not. That said, I’m gonna finish. Again! I’ve already finished twice, maybe the third time’ll be the charm.
Thanks for coming by, Elise.
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When it rains, it pours lol 😛 Poor guy can’t catch a break! (Although he did run over someone, so I shouldn’t really feel sorry for him)
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Yeah, he was pretty casual about it too, so he might’ve done it before a time or two. I wouldn’t feel sorry for him at all.
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Well, to be fair, it certainly wasn’t Monday’s fault. Jimmy kind of made his own Monday mess. Not that Monday isn’t a jerk sometimes.
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Point taken, if you’re someone who accepts responsibility. Most of the characters I seem to write about — especially in this A to Z Challenge — don’t subscribe to the common theories of responsibility. If it wasn’t Monday’s fault, it’d be his boss’ fault or his girlfriend’s fault or somebody’s fault. But never — NEVER — his own fault. Uh uh, couldn’t be.
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That’s definitely a great plot-driving characteristic to have…maybe not so much in life, but we tend to enjoy a little less plot in reality.
At least I do!
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The six-sentence story inspired by Hemingway is so interesting, John. I should also try that sometime.
I LOVE how creative you are, dear friend…Great story! 🙂
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The Hemingway story is just brilliant. A complete story in six words. Yet it leaves so much for the reader to interpret and fill in. It’s actually heart-wrenching when you finish it and think about the crux of the story. Maybe I’ll post a couple others after this month is over just to give a little more flavor.
And thank you so much for your words, Lilac. Come on by anytime!
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I’ve never heard of a six-sentence story. Glad I stopped by this blog, it has my mind itching to try some of my own.
Also another reason to hate Mondays *shakes fist*.
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Marna, come on over anytime. I had never heard of six-sentence stories either. Thought I created them in homage to Ernest Hemingway and his six-word story. Alas, apparently folks came before me and have already been crafting six-sentence stories. It has been more difficult than I thought it would be.
Come on back tomorrow for W — we’re gonna be taking a vote. You must cast your ballot!
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I’m with I.L.–Jimmy made his own Monday mess. I mean, if he’s not going to take the blame, he should point the finger at the guy who hired him. Clearly the guy can’t drive! Fun story, again, John! 🙂
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Gotta love a good finger-pointer as a protagonist to get your story off and running. I’m a pretty bad driver myself, so I can relate to Jimmy, though I’ve yet to run over a pedestrian.
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Oh my gosh. That poor old man. I’m going to miss the stories, but Books and Writers is about to send a search party out for me. I’m off track so badly.
This was a great story. I’m going to be in so many fan clubs once y’all get published, and you will.
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Julie, thanks for such kind words. Send the search party over to your blog and they’ll see exactly what you’ve been up to. And then they’ll be wowed when they READ what you’ve been up to.
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John, heh, I think they get weary of Lorena and her goings on.
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Yeah, right, like readers get tired of Sherlock Holmes solving mysteries. If Lorena is sitting on the porch swing, I’m leaning against the post on the porch to hear everything she’s saying.
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My Monday wasn’t so bad after all…
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Haha! It’s all relative, right!
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I’m with Kate here – compared to this poor valet, mine was all sunshine and sparkles!
Thanks for another brilliant story, John!
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Always good to set the bar low on Monday, so it’s easier to get over the hurdle. Thank you, Kae. Closing in on the finish … Yessss!
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