Taxidermist
Hunter welcomed the private investigator to a chair, said he’d put on some tea and answer the man’s questions. Asked his guest if he wanted something to eat, to which the investigator shook his head, said, “No thank you, I’m stuffed.”
Under his breath, Hunter muttered, “You’re getting a little ahead of things, sir.”
The investigator sipped his tea, said he was searching for two missing people, last seen near Hunter’s acreage, maybe Hunter knew something of it.
Hunter shook his head, mentally measured the man, saw him as a good fit in the parlor.
“Odd, your tea gives a taste of bitter almonds,” the investigator said a few minutes before falling asleep down the hall from where he’s spend the rest of his days.
Six-sentence stories were inspired by Ernest Hemingway who penned the first six-word story (For sale: Baby shoes, never worn.). Thanks for today’s suggested occupation from Colin Smith. Also thanks to Serena for Telemarketer which I tried to use a half-dozen times and the muse just wasn’t responding on a Friday night/Saturday morning.
Tomorrow is a much-appreciated day off before we resume the alphabet Monday with the letter U. As in Ugh!
I’m not surprised the taxidermist won out here. Delightfully creepy, with wonderful bits of humor. “Getting ahead of yourself” indeed!
Ah, yes, the dreaded U. Undertaker jumps to mind, but there’s also U-boat captain, ukulele player, usher, and underwater engineer. Good luck!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Omigosh, this was the hardest yet for some reason. I’ll blame a new bar that opened up and my wife insisted we christen last night. Guess I shoulda written the story first. Another lesson learned! Well, another lesson anyway. Time will tell if I learned anything.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your MC is very appropriately named………………
In line with my octopus wrangler, I thought of umbrella chaser. I definitely do NOT expect you to use that one lol. But Celia’s underwater engineer gave me an idea. Remember all those “college classes you wanted to take because they sounded easy?” Celia’s suggestion made me think of underwater BB stacking and underwater basket weaving.
One more week!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha, yes, I do remember those classes. My favorite was underwater fire prevention. Why did we think anything underwater meant an easy class? Now that I’m older (maybe not wiser) it seems anything underwater would make for a comically difficult class.
LikeLike
So many little gems under the stones! Love the word wizardry~ Maybe urologist, umpire, upholsterer?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Whoa! Look who’s swinging through the neighborhood! I better be on my best behavior. Of course, this is the guilty party who twisted my arm into a reconnaissance mission to find out if a new bar kept their beer cold enough. I can’t believe I fell for that again.
Urologist is too scary even for me. Remember that one ass. coach (abbreviation intentional) for Murphy that was a urologist? No, too frightful. Umpire, on the other hand, that’s got me thinking, cuz I know some good, scary umpires of course.
LikeLike
I have to say, I was disappointed when I read the title, but not after reading the story! I loved the “you’re getting ahead of yourself” comment. Gotta love that dark humor.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dark humor is the only kind taxidermists know. They’re either humorless or dark, and much more interesting when they’re dark.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mmmmh the sweet taste of cyanide 😉 I laughed at the ‘being stuffed’ line.
U for undercover agent?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah yes, the dead giveaway of the almond. I love almonds, but I’m never telling my wife that. Just in case.
LikeLike
Oh dear. I knew you would not do something pretty with this. Such great lines, though. Of course, it would make a great short story. “I’m stuffed and getting ahead of yourself indeed.”
This was wonderful
I love it. I will miss the stories when the month comes to the end, but maybe I’ll get back on track with new words.
Upholsterer is good, (You can always stuff a body in a couch.), utility worker, undercover agent, underwater photographer (A great white can eat him.).
LikeLiked by 1 person
You and me both, Julie. I’ll miss putting these posts together every day, but wow will my editing benefit from the extra time!
LikeLike
Good spin on the word, John! The idea that he would stuff the investigator and install him in the parlor is pushing beyond creepy. Which, of course, made me wonder if there has ever been a serial killer who did something like this–stuffed his victims and displayed them in his basement. Yeah, it’s sick, but… there’s a character there… Has that novel been written?
As for U careers, I don’t know that I can better the suggestions already made, especially those from Mrs. Frain. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a delicious sounding character, isn’t it? Creepy at its finest. I’d tell my wife of your flattery, but I can’t have her liking you more than me!
LikeLike
I am so happy you chose a taxidermist. They always make the creepiest serial killers. One more week.
LikeLiked by 1 person
One more week! Happier words have not been typed. Although as I say that, I also know I’m gonna miss this April fun. But man oh man, is it time consuming! So glad tomorrow is an official blog holiday.
LikeLike
That bitter smell of almonds is a dead giveaway… For U, how about an undergarment engineer?
LikeLiked by 1 person
A “dead” giveaway! <—- I see what you did there. Nice. And an undergarment engineer? Hmm, you mean like Victoria back at the manufacturing plant that houses her Secret? Okay, that's worth consideration…
LikeLike
Love this, John!
Did someone say ‘Used car salesman’ yet?
LikeLike