Written by John Davis Frain

A to Z Challenge: R

REALTOR  —

Now 64, Carla was refurbished twice to keep her curb appeal and it kept the condo Rcommissions coming.

She didn’t appreciate meeting at eight-thirty in the evening, but the Conroy place hit eighty-five days on the market and she had a ninety-day contract.

The updated realtor opened the door to 32-year-old Kevin, who could use a splash of paint but otherwise was move-in ready with what Carla imagined to be a desirable neighborhood beneath his Levi’s.

After showing off her breathtaking views, Carla conveniently finished the condo tour in the master bedroom where Cape Cod Kevin queried: “What stays?”

“Everything you’re looking at, honey, and we can close the deal tonight.”

Carla collected another commission – and might even sell the place – giving her email to Colonial Kev and whispering, “Why own when you can rent?”   ###

 

Okay, no crime here, move along. Come on, people, nothing to see here. Children, cover your eyes. Mom, if that’s you, I hired a ghost writer for “R.”

I don’t know what happened. This started out as a murder mystery and my protagonist completely took over the entire plot with her greedy little hands. Six-sentence stories were developed in homage to Hemingway who wrote a six-word story (For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.). Letter R was brought to you by Raid, it kills bugs dead. (Finally, a murder!) And by Rolaids, how do you spell relief? Thanks for coming by!

Any “S” ideas for tomorrow, please send ’em in during our all-request hour.

 

17 thoughts on “A to Z Challenge: R”

  1. Cunningly clever, John–or whatever pseudonym you’re using for today’s post. Colonel Carnal, perhaps? 😉 Fun plays on words. Great job!

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    1. Forgot my S suggestions: Songwriter, Singer, Shop Keeper, Shoplifter, Salesman, Sanitary Worker, or how about… Shark! 😉

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      1. Oh, gotta love the profession of shoplifter. That certainly leads down all kinds of nefarious avenues. Did you ever read Lawrence Block’s “Burglar” series featuring Bernie Rhodenbarr? Omigosh, wonderful stories, a burglar with a conscience. Loved every one of them, but it’s been a while. I wonder if he’s penned any new ones lately? And no, I’m not killin’ a shark, not this guy, mama didn’t raise that kind of an idiot.

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  2. I like Carla. It doesn’t surprise me she took over your story! The clever intertwining of the real-estate language with flirtation and assignations worked for me.

    My first thought for S should have been Shark – of course! – but my brain went back to the circus for Snake Charmer. And then it wen elsewhere for Stripper (Colin, why didn’t that one occur to you?).

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    1. Oh oh, stripper is another good one. Plenty of places to explore there. Yes, of course, pun intended. But it might take six sentences to explain where she hides her weapon. And there I am being stereotypical, which I’m trying to move away from in these stories … why does a stripper have to be a woman, right?

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      1. Honestly, John, I was thinking of the guy stripping paint off my house before they put the new coat on. Where DID your mind go? (Just kidding, of course. But yes, she could indeed be a he.)

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        1. Of course you were! So was I! And a painter, she’s always wearing white shorts and t-shirt, so nowhere to hide a weapon. At least, that’s what I was implying. You must’ve been reading between the lines. Nudge nudge, wink wink.

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  3. See? Characters can be pretty insistent, no matter what you intend to do with them. And there’s no way Carla’s a victim, so maybe you have an amateur sleuth on your hands.

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    1. You are spot on, Carla is definitely not a victim here. She gets exactly what she wants. Although, eventually, she might get more than she bargained for. In the original story she wasn’t a victim either, but Kevin became more than a conquest — he became a cadaver. Wasn’t room in the rewrite for all that.

      So I’m starting to loosen my grip on my belief that you must be a plotter and a planner and eschew being a pantser. There’s room for both, I suppose. At least, I’m trying to believe that for myself.

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  4. Well, this just proves I have a dirty mind. I wonder if there are pills for that. Interesting story, John, And I know what you mean about time for another draft. This is pretty much pantster territory if you want to see the end of the alphabet.

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    1. Right now, I wish the alphabet ended in R! I should be spending this time on my WIP, but this has been a fun and (I hope) valuable exercise. Especially since I’m in the middle of a giant editing time on the ms. And no, I know of no pills to help you, Elise. Just like I know of no shortcuts to edit your work any quicker. Unfortunately on both fronts.

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  5. Oh wow, I LOVED this! It really made me laugh and it’s so well-written! All that double meaning…subtly done.
    S for surgeon? (I was going to write stripper, but it already came up)

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    1. You’re too kind (but no need to stop).

      Surgeon is another fine example that leaves a lot of available story room. Thanks for the suggestion. S is turning out to be rich with options. Too bad you can’t store ’em up for later in the alphabet. Gotta say, I might’ve had more fun with R than any other letter. And my original intent was to use Referee because I am one, but I stole my Referee idea to throw a game for the mob when I wrote Q for Quarterback! Okay, I’m venturing into TMI territory now, so I’ll stop.

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  6. Ya know, you pack a lot a punch in these six sentences. I mean gee whiz, both characters popped with personality. Especially Carla, but it was your word choices and your the MASTER at choosing names to convey that personality. “Cape Cod Kevin?” I can see him now with his pink lobster shorts, polo shirt and Sperry’s.

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