PHLEBOTOMIST
Couple guys came to Jerry the first time, wasn’t even his idea. Turned out to be his idea of
a good payday though, a guy making only $12.87 an hour most days.
So four months later when Winston Rockhurst IV walked into Jerry’s clinic and submitted to his paternity test, Jerry recognized a solid prospect when he saw him. He met with Tammy Lynn Johnson, Winston’s alleged one-time lover, to strike a deal.
Tammy Lynn jumped on the idea like a dog on a bone. Unfortunately for Jerry, so did her father, Pinellas County Sheriff James Johnson. ###
Oh, Jerry went from drawing blood to drawing a six-year sentence. All in a six-sentence story. Crime doesn’t pay, but at least he lived to tell about it. Thanks for stopping by to enjoy this six-sentence story courtesy of Ernest Hemingway who paved the way with his six-word story. (For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.) Today’s entry was brought to you by Pepsi, the choice of a new generation. And by Preparation H, because when you gotta go, you gotta go. And by Pfizer, the little blue pill with big results.
Come on back tomorrow for – uh oh! – the letter Q.
JD Frain 
Hmm. I forgot about the letter Q. I always forget about the letter Q. Except in Scrabble.
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Q-U-I-Z. Yeah, I was forgetting about the letter Q as well. There were plenty of P jobs on my list, maybe we’ll have a rerun for Throwback Wednesday.
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I like the change in voice you’ve made here, with the sentence fragments and colloquialisms letting us get to know Jerry in so few sentences! Well done.
Good luck with Q! Quick-change artist (back to the circus maybe)? Quality control officer? Quilter? Quartermaster? Quarryman? I can’t wait to see where you go from here.
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Thank you, Celia. Sentence fragments are much more my style. I overuse them in my WIP, but that’s intentional. I like that most style books even say they’re grammatically correct. Yea!
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Funny and incredibly clever, but, man, I hope the shark doesn’t read your blog or we’re in danger of some awfully weird word prompts in our flash fiction contests. Maybe by the time you get to V, this dude will be a vampire. Just a thought. Although not thinking too well today. Day job and allergies.
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Frighteningly, she did swim by earlier when someone must’ve warned her that AGENT was appearing as the A word. Thank goodness I didn’t kill the agent! And don’t worry, you’re not gonna see a Queen even get busted for jaywalking tomorrow. Uh-uh, ain’t gonna happen. No way. Not a ch-ch-ch … wait a minute, what if the Queen was crossing the street to join the chicken on the other side and stepped in the path of a bus? I better scratch out something about a Quilter really fast here.
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At least he didn’t die 😉 I like the ending. I had to look up phlebotomist, though. I thought it had something to do with phlebitis, but uh, it doesn’t. It made more sense when I read your story for the second time.
Q for quarterback?
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I had a friend who was a phlebotomist, otherwise I’d have never heard of such a creature. Haven’t seen that guy in forever, I should pick up the phone. Thanks!
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We were just talking about phlebotomists the other day. It’s funny how a word won’t come up for a long time, and then it will keep coming up several times in a few days span. Good story.
@DoreeWeller from
Doree Weller’s Blog
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Wow, Doree, what fascinating people you must hang out with that you sit around talking about phlebotomists! But I agree about things rearing their head and then all of a sudden they’re popping up everywhere. Or maybe we just notice them since we just talked about them. Hm.
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There’s nothing more exciting than a conversation on phlebotomists.
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I like to be a little British and call them bloody phlebotomists.
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I’m sure it’s way too late to suggest a Q, but how about Query Shark? Shhhhh, don’t tell her I suggested this. =)
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Surely there are easier ways of committing professional suicide … but none come to mind right now.
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Ha! Now there was a twist for me since I immediately thought there would be a vampire in this somewhere. After all, what better “day” job for a blood sucker? Or would that be like having an alcoholic running a bar? Anyway, good job again, John. 🙂
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Ha! Nice. That’d be fun to list all the worst people that could possibly be in any profession. An arsonist firefighter would keep herself busy. Claustrophobic astronauts are probably rare. Phlebotomist vampire? Why not!
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You certainly are choosing some interesting professions here. So glad you didn’t go for something obvious like policeman or professor.
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Ooooooh, but now I wish I had thought of Professor — I could’ve killed my brother before the semester ended! Then I could really have found out if he ever reads the blog! Squandered opportunity. That’s what I get for lack of planning.
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Wow! Between you, Dena, Julie and Colin (among others) I sure am learning a LOT about lots this April! I, too, had to look up Phlebotamists. Keep ’em coming! I can’t wait to see where you go with Q. And X too, for that matter!
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Omigosh, don’t even bring up X. I hadn’t even thought that far ahead in the alphabet. Shiver me timbers, I haven’t even thought about aarrrggghhh yet. Well, I guess I have since I keep typing arrgghh, but my chance to be a Pirate came and went with the Phlebotomist!
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Ha, this was awesome. I have horrible veins. When my kidneys crashed the poor little nurses would cry when they had to start new IVs or phlebotomists had to draw blood because it would send my veins crawling away. They collapse, explode, wriggle away. I looked like someone had beaten me with a baseball bat because I had terrible bruises everywhere.
Anyway, great story with a superb ending.
I think there’s a blood bank in Bend, Oregon, probably wrong about that. Somewhere up there, the staff dresses as vampires, which is kind of funny.
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